Yes

I feel a lot better

Part of me just wants someone to hold me and tell me they honestly care. The other part of me is bitter and angry and just wants to see the world burn and wishes he can start the fire.

So.....

The person I love most in this world is now happy in the arms of another, and I am very happy for her.

The question now is when do I get to be happy? When do I get to experience joy with another? I already know the answer to that. Never.

Test

Test

I wish that I find happiness...

Then again I use to wish I was a superhero. I tend to wish for the impossible. You know, love, friends and joy. The impossible...

I take pictures of beautiful women because no beautiful woman I know wishes to be with me.

I take photos of joyous moments because joy is a distant faded memory to me and has become an alien concept beyond my understanding.

I take photos of people with their friends and lovers because I have lost all of mine and stand never to gain any again.

I learned this week that the person I love most considers me unimportant and I have no value to them.

Even Death has abandoned me. I am condemned to live out a long loveless and isolated life.

I say this here since I know no one reads this. Here I whisper to the void, and know no one listens, for if anyone actually did they would leave. No one wishes to give succor or pity to one who's heart is so shattered there is no hope in mending it. For all I have let is pain and despair, I cannot longer feel hope in my life. I cannot give anything useful emotionally so why bother with me?

That is why I am alone now. I have no longer any worth.

Kathy I'm lost I said
But I knew she was sleeping
And feel lost and empty
I don't know why

Counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike
We've all gone to look for America